Month: January 2021

Tolkien’s Hierarchy of Creation

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Approx. Read Time
3:25

A bit of an ‘off-the-cuff’ rant for a Friday. And you might be surprised where it ends up. I was reading about the relatively new ‘delivery’ services being offered, and used, for just about everything! From pizzas to cars to groceries to condoms, everything is delivered.

I get the whole covid thing is the reason for the new services, so that capitalism can remain supreme, but we humans have taken McDonalds convenience to absurd levels. Take that car dealership where you buy your vehicle online and it is delivered to a vending machine in your city. You get a key or a coin or something in the mail and head to the vending machine to collect your new car. Cute. The many car sales businesses offering delivery of the car you bought/financed online. Even car servicing garages and the like. They pick your car up and bring it back when the oil change is complete. Like I said – what’s being delivered ranges from the absurd to the absurd. We have gotten SO good at shopping online and having the goods delivered, that the concept is so acceptable – and thus – applies to dating?

Yes I am admitting here ONLINE that I partake in online dating. I tried it a decade ago and that, was successful. I just chose wrong. BUT it worked well for many.

So when I went back to it recently I was expecting similar – this – the reason we humans are generally not allowed to have nice things – got screwed up too. It has turned into an elementary school’s day field trip going to a secondary school dance – followed by a rave, unsafe (sans condom) sex, and tonnes of underage drinking. It’s like shopping for items at the dollar store

Went down the rabbit hole there.

The internet, like your old school, has done this – essentially Tolkien’s Hierarchy of Creation: literally DIVIDE ITSELF UP into ‘the dum and uncool’ group – the slightly smarter group of misfits – and the popular kids.

I guess this whole post comes down to a question for you. (I’m sure as all hell being our basement – I have NO IDEA the answer.) WHY? Is the question. Why do ALL humans slot themselves into these groups? Just take a look at your workplace, the grocery store, and even your family. It’s the same. But why?

You are Blue. You are Yellow

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Doublethink is the power, or the ability, to hold two contradictory, or opposite, beliefs simultaneously, AND accept both at the same time.
Some of you might recognize that. The ‘doublethink’ part. It was a part of 1984, the book, by George Orwell. I could very easily compare that to the goings on in the world right now but i will stick to some not-so-much common sense applications. The book was political, but also spoke to a lot of the basic interactions we humans partake – in.
Doublethink. Trying to be sarcastic about the word – notsomuch – but the ‘idea’? It’s a word used to describe ‘other’ people right? Maybe. But it actually describes what everyone is doing. You included. It’s ALL doublethink. The things you think (no wordpun intended) VS the things you actually do. Not the “I’m going to win the lottery and move to France” in the morning VS “Nope. No lottery. Guess I’m not moving afterall” in the evening.
It IS the claim you made to your friend in the morning that you hated seafood, yet called your friend at about 8pm that night after you returned home from a fish and chips dinner at the corner pub.
Doublethink. Accepting two opposite beliefs simultaneously. NOT calling it a LIE – because it IS POSSIBLE, that in the moment, you actually DID believe both. The things you think (you hate seafood) VS the thing you do (Go for pub style fish and chips) You CAN believe that fish is NOT seafood, because you like it.
Doublethink.

The Mad Hatter, 3 – From Here On OUT – Called (mostly) a Rant

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NEW little ditty – Approximate time it should take you to read the post. I have tried to factor in the ‘confusion factor’ but….

E.T.A. (Time estimate) 2:06

Now this rather long part…
That title – up there – I’m not expecting that it made any sense to any one. Looking back MAYBE. All the pro’s say that the title of the posts must border on clickbait and “hook” the reader (you) in. Obviously my take is a bit different – Either I am unable to come up with a sexy title for each post OR I called bullsh!t and ignored the instructions. How bout YOU pick which! ANYWAY…

Over there on that Twitter platform where I often try out post ideas and comedic stuff. –
Ladies – What are men saying to you in/on that Twitter to try and pick you up? And guys – I SEE meeting new people, but trying to bed anonymous women there? It’s CLEARLY NOT a dating site…Whatever — my little (but rather long) story.
A week or so ago I was in a sarcastic back and forth with three ladies in a timeline. LOOOOONG story shorter…I made what I thought was……a hilarious self depricating crack. Did I mention hilarious? One of the ladies returned at me with something like “Settle down Sparky! We’re not here to get MAULED by creeps like you.” She was CLEARLY quite angry. I attempted to calm her anger a little, but not too much because — well RED FLAGS of boiled bunnies and slashed vehicle tires.
One of the other gals decided to pile on and demanded that i apologize to all of them for treating them like they were stupid, and ‘dismissing them as women.’ The Red Flags became large torches – massive dumpster fire, when the last of the trio piled on. Starting out with calling me a bastard for something I can’t remember (AND NO THAT IS NOT ME DISMISSING YOU LADIES! IT WAS HOW I FELT OR HOW I THUNK.) And now…the torches were again a full blown dumpster fire.
This interaction was foreseeable for sure. I know that every single sarcastic statement or post like this WILL make folks upset. Piss ‘em off.

So here’s the ‘rant’ part of the rant. You MUST know that the odds of you getting pissed with me when you visit me here, and read. I do not MEAN TO, or SET OUT TO, piss you off. It’s just a foreseeable reaction to my words here. I weigh the ‘funny’ or the ‘comedy’ against the anger some feel. MORE of you laugh, or relate, than get pissed off.
Soooooo will I continue? YEA. Do I care that you’re pissed? A little – but honestly sarcastic – No.
If I go to the gas station and fill a gerry-can with fuel to bring back to get my vehicle running for work – and you decide to drink some of that fuel before i get it in the car. Do I care? Of course I CARE that you drank fuel and are likely sick. Of course. BUT we BOTH kinda KNEW that drinking gasoline would result in sickness. Didn’t we? Well yea – DUH.

Next…

Things NOT to be Ashamed Of or Shy About

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As I outlined a little in a previous post – This list will be presented just as that. A list. A loooong list, but a list. You get that it’s a list right? A list. Not a woman or man list. A HUMAN list.

DO NOT be shy or ashamed of ANY of the items that follow. Or at the very least TRY.

Mental Illness
Rejection
Masturbating
Hairy Legs
Stretch Marks
Spots
Being Jealous
Liking ABBA
Unmade Beds
Being a Virgin
Grey Hair
Wrinkles
Farting
Astrology
Setting Boundries
Loving YOUrself
Small Boobies
Not Showering Today
Scars
Your Period
Getting Drunk
Reality TV
Everything You Said Last Night
Being Single
Being Married
Being a Virgin
NOT Being a Virgin
Being Admired
Being Noticed
Reading
Not Reading
Peeing your Pants
Picking your Nose
Picking your Underwear Out
Of Your Butt Crack
Your Small Penis (again)
Stretch Marks
Your Belly
Your Butt
Your Belly-Button
Your Meds
Being Scared
Being Happy
Being Sad
Being Mad
Being Blue
Being Pink
Being Red
Not Being Enough
Letting Your Kids Watch TV
Eating Candy
Sleeping on the Couch
One Night Stand
Changing Your Mind
Living w/ Your Parents
Your Age
No Kids
10 Kids
Forgetting a Name
Forgetting Your Name
Forgetting Your Meds
Forgetting A Birthday
Forgetting Your Keys

Sweating
STD’s
Big Boobs
Tiny Ass
Big Ass
Small Penis
Hair. Hair Everywhere
Getting Fired
Eating
Swearing
Hollywood Undead
Menopause
Pooing
Bad Tattoos
Crying
Being Broke
Being Broken
Having Weird Sex
Having Sex
NOT Having Sex
Talking Too Much
LOVING Dave Matthews
Talking Very Little
Being Loud
Being Quiet
Being Loud in Bed
Your Passions
Your WEIGHT
Hating Lists
Being Shy
Being Ashamed
Faking It
Being Too Much
Did I Say Masturbate Yet?
Foofing
Your Family
Failure
Wetting Yourself
Wetting Someone Else
Debt
Being Straight
Being Crooked
Being Bi
Being Gay
Being Trans
Being Non-Binary
Being ?
Being A Guy
Being A Girl
The Fact That One Boob is Bigger Than The Other (the Right One I Think?)
Watching TV
Twitter
Facebook
Your Blog
Your Website
Hairy Butts
Saying No
Saying Yes
Saying Maybe
Failing
Drawing a Blank
and
MOST IMPORTANTLY

YOU!!!