Plug your eyes and D!tch the Sh!t


Do you – like me – ever listen, or read, or think, and then yell at nearly the top of your lungs – WHAT THE FFFFFugly FFFFug! If so, you’re likely to recognize some of the words, sentences, thoughts, and utterings below. Hopefully I don’t trigger you – but it WOULD be funnerer if I did right!?

So that you might find it easier to read todays story – Here is how it will be roughly laid out. First will be the title/category in which that group of D!tch and Sh!ts are housed. Then the word or phrase in need of the D!tch, followed by my comedic relief or badly placed in the stitch of time that we occupy’s, my reaction, the notsomuch common sense. The concern or fright and any other Sh!t that may apply! And now this:

Part One – ‘Do you even HEAR yourself speak?’

Can I Interrupt? You just effin did! Wouldn’t a statement work MUCH better? Maybe like Hey! I’m interrupting!

TBH – To Be Honest No matter what follows this statement it’s usually a lie. Check it.

It is what it is. Huh. This statement is just annoying. That’s what IT IS.

Part Two – ‘The extra words are for what now?’

We can DEFINITELY do that – But really. CAN you do it?

I’m LITERALLY puking – It literally makes no sense at all for the word literally to literally appear, in this sentence. Kids – take it from me – it is literally the best decision to make based on seismic data collected from the planet Mars. Apparently leaving the word literally OUT of a sentence, literally makes no literal difference in the meaning, or the literal impact, of the sentence. Literally – go back through this paragraph on literally puking, and literally remove the word ‘literally’ from it. The message of the paragraph remains unchanged – your tongue stays untangled – and your mind registers the win as a win-win win. You can literally remove all but 1 of the wins too. Sports is literally the worst metaphor for life.

How about ‘I PERSONALLY feel.’ I think the ‘I’ is personal and, much like literally, you can literally remove the extra word, personally, and literally NOTHING changes. And it sounds stupid too.

I will STOP 🛑 right here – let the brain take a rest. I WILL however come back to this story/topic and likely, or literally, continue to find this sh!t.

I, personally, can definitely say so long, with literally dozens of words sooooooooooo busy-bodied that I definitely, am personally literally puking them out for the sake of lunacy, literal lunacy, not the supposed commercial king that feeds on the donkey’s teet in order to totally transcend — stuff.

Published by jacX

I SEE noise.

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