And THIS Happened Today:

Fairly simple setup. At least for me anyway. I am leaving a local store, not a Wally’s or The Bay – an actual local store, after picking up batteries. (NOT for that sicko!) –

So I am finished at the till, and turn to head for the exit. On my way out I see a woman (a middle-aged woman which will be important in a moment) and she has some of the most amazing ink work (tattoo) I have seen in a very long time. While the woman herself did not put the ink on her arm and shoulder, i felt like I HAD to compliment her on the piece. So I DID. And this is EXACTLY what I said: “Excuse me. I just had to tell you – I think your ink is amazing!” I was smiling, did not touch her, in fact I was about 4 feet away from her with my mask on, and ONLY said those words.

Her response, “No you fvcking don’t – fvcker.”

This is how the rest of THAT conversation went:
”Excuse me?” I responded in FULL ON SARCASM TONE. To which she said, “Fvck you, you slimy perverted fvck!”
“Did I NOT just compliment SOMEONE ELSE’S work on YOUR arm,” I replied NOT POLITELY, followed by, “or did I say different words than the AMAZING INK I thought I said?” – honestly stepping on her next statement, “????<#@$# (The part I talked over) just get away from me!”

Ok, the ‘my-side.’ I WAS NOT hitting on, or flirting with, the woman. She was a rather unattractive, unwashed, and UNmasked, middle-aged hippie or homeless person. So SHE SHOULD HAVE KNOWN that I was definitely complimenting someone else, and NOT her.

I admit that I was insulted and needed to put some time-space between the incident and penning this story.

BUT with distance and some hindsight, I WILL say that I am not good with compliments. Especially face to face. I have no idea how to respond to them, and likely come off as awkward and dumb. I KNOW – those are the TOP TWO actions that indicate flirting, BUT, ummm, errrrrm, I don’t know where I was headed with that thought EXCEPT to maybe say this:

She had a few appropriate options available to her I think? – She could have easily JUST walked away, like she did, but with her mouth shut? She could have grunted, looked up and shot a dirty look? She could have said “thanks” and walked away? Or (an option just a little bit OUT THERE) She could have torn off her tank top revealing her naked and dirty upper body and one of her first ever body alterations, her likely pierced belly button and Celtic tramp-stamp on her lower back, and danced a little jig to The Captain and Tennille playing on the store’s in-house mix tape, before floating out of the store on her cloud-fricken-6, or first gen jet-ski bought at Canadian Tire in 1991 – having a kiss-my-ass patch on the ass of her white-trash version of cut-off shorts, with pockets and flaps hanging out the front, and bruised-looking ass cheeks falling out the back.

OR MAYBE – what would YOU have done, in either case – me or her?