This is the story of such a situation that was SO ABSURD that I HAD to write a story.

You know how when you hear, or see, something that YOU think is completely absurd? Something that runs counter to your beliefs or opinions that just plain drives you batsh!t crazy? Given my tendencies to think philosophically, pseudo-intelligently, and very common sensically – I hear and see things all day long, day after day after day, that drive me NUTSO!!!

Heard someone say “Damp” in place of the word “cool” – and while I’m notsomuch cool with “cool” – DAMP!?!?!?!?!?!?!

I cannot believe that I heard THAT come from her mouth! A human’s mouth. As “COOL” as it is to make up words…BE on the cutting edge of life and invent new ‘slang’ – THIS isn’t THAT.

SO
I’m gonna OFFICIALLY replace the word “cool” with ummm ummmm the word… CANK! Better than damp I’m thinking. Totally CANK man! That’s like the cankest slang ever dude! Damp??? Get the FRANK out of here, vagina waterboarding wank.

That last part about the wank you’ll have to figure out. I don’t want to use the word douche. The FRANK part is obvious i think.

For those of you using the word, or thinking of using the word, DAMP instead of cool or cank – PLEASE SAVE US ALL – and don’t. Thanks! Appreciated BIG TIME.