Friend: Can you turn on and pre-heat the oven jacK?
Me: [starts dancing seductively in front of the oven – removing my touque-hat]
Friend: Everything you do jacK… WHY?

People like to encourage you with helpful advice like “sing like no one is listening” or the very similar same statement ‘dance like no one is watching.’
The Next…time you go to the grocery store, take them with you. Once in the store’s produce section looking for bananas – stop walking – and DO EITHER OF THOSE TWO THINGS. Hell – do em both! Sing like no one is listening and dance like no one is watching! You’ll quickly see that the person that told you to do those things – didn’t REALLY want you to actually (or literally) DO those things.

some quick ones to wrap today’s rapid-fire…sorta like – or LITERALLY a bow.

This ‘being an adult’ is literally bullshit. Babies get praised for being able to hold their heads up on their own like bravo your neck works, stupid baby

Those stick figures on the back of your vehicle – I know that I THOUGHT it was your kill count – and that made perfect sense to me – 2nd option was the ‘passenger-manifest’ for when authorities or searchers literally found your SUV over an embankment. Notsomuch for identifying the bodies as identifying the NUMBER of bodies to literally EXPECT inside the wreck.

LITERALLY. Literally is literally one of the worst words literally ever. Next time this word enters your brain for you to SAY – literally BURN IT. The thought, the word, or the brain thinking it. You are MOST DEFINITELY going to use the word wrong. It doesn’t mean what YOU THINK it means so DON’T SAY IT! Please? EVER?

Ok misFits – i will literally see you next time.