by jacK (staffwriter) jaXasms.ca

satirical sh!z

In a Notice of Claim filed by Pile of Poo (💩), also known as poomoji, poop emoji, or poo emoji, in Supreme Court alleges that 🌐 (the Internet) willfully attacked 💩’s solid and clean reputation, in addition to that of 💩‘s family and close friends. 💩 says, as a direct result, employment opportunities have vanished, friends have stopped speaking for fear of their good names being called into question, and the shame that has befallen 💩’s family will be be a multi-generational flaming pile of post-it notes and smudge.

💩is also seeking to have it’s copyrighted image, a coiled pile of feces, usually with cartoon eyes and a large smile, removed from the web in future reference and all history searches. The emoji can be used to convey disappointment or disapproval, but also maintains its literal meaning of sh!t.

🌐 the internet has yet to file a statement of defence in the matter and was unavailable for comment prior to the publishing of this story. 🌐 has 30 days to file it’s reply – and when it does – will likely set itself on fire. Which is just a bit ironic as it is usually NOT the internet that is generally associated with flaming.