the playground cigarette monstrosity

by jacX – staffwriter @(

you know i noticed something the other day – hit the grocery store and i stopped at the park to eat the iced cream cone i’d bought. ok. the tub of iced cream i bought. ANYway – stopped at the park to eat AN iced cream – what i noticed – there was an old guy and his lady friend doing much the same as me – a young lady was in the (no dogs allowed) park throwing a ball or a bean bag for her imaginary pup – and an even younger lady with her infant child. it COULD have been her little brother cause she looked too young to have a chid – HOWEVER – with all the inmates running the asylum, it was probably her child. ANY-ANYway – what i took note of – the playground was empty. all that equipment just sitten there. there were NO CHILDREN – except of course the child and her baby or maybe her brother and maybe the dog – i had no idea how old the k9 was

that’s it? the sun was shining. it was t-shirt warm. it was dry – no rain – there weren’t even any kids there smoking behind the tire monstrosity swing climbing thing. nary a youngster anywhere. (nary means NOT) ANY-ANY-ANYway –

remember when YOU were younger? being at the park with friends playen ball or playen on the equipment playen with your little girlfriend/boyfriend or smoking cigarettes? yea, me too.

i hear many a complaint about kids nowadays sitting on their phones or playing on the Xbox or whatever is ‘hip’ this week. no respect, no drive to get off the couch, or even get out of bed to be on the cel phone or X box. i get it! the little ungrateful pukes sitten around the house.


get up off YOUR ass and cel phone and go into the bathroom and direct all those gripes into the mirror.

And once you are done whining about the ungrateful pukes in your tv room to your reflection…take YOUR cel phone-LESS ass into the tv room and do ONE of two things:

thing #1. you could sit down with them and play on the X boX and bitch about your mean parents who made y’all get out of bed! may talk to them about street drugs, the cost of said street drugs, and complain that your parents never gave you money to buy any


thing #2! you TELL them to follow you like you were the Pied Piper (that story in that book of fairy tales that you DIDN’T read to them a few years back?) maybe you can tell them the story as you lead them to the corner or nearby store to get em all (and you) iced cream and then hit the EMPTY park? play on the stuff, play tag, or HELL – even smoke a cigarette with ‘em behind the tire monstrosity!

harken back to a few broken bones, numerous skinned knees, skinned elbows, black eyes and hurt feelings of YOUR younger years! and INSTEAD of bitching to your friends about the ungrateful pukes – get outside WITH them! – maybe even to that EMPTY park – skin their knees! break some bones! blacken a few eyes! it won’t be long before the lazy and selfish (sound familiar) pukes will be in the emergency room getting a busted digit repaired or sitting behind the tire swing with you ALMOST getting fresh air!

commonsensically thinX about it. or nah! what the hell do i know about YOUR kids? – i’ve never even met em! and you ARE doing a bang-up job turning them into ungrateful pukes that you complain about. whatever – you get one of these!

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