Category: Hey jax!

Various #askjaxasms Stuffs [aka: rapid-fires]

· Leave a comment ·

by: jacK staffwriter

Hey jacK

a great friend of mine always ends up with the guy at the end of the night, instead of me, or unfortunately, in spite of me. why?
Sally via #askjaxasms

hey back sally!
not really sure the answer you’re looking for sally…nor am I even sure you have a question in your question. whatever – the answer i will offer is this:

You CAN do way better than a hook-up in a bar. MEETING someone – cool – but the hook-up? Do better than that.

– OR – your great friend is a whore/slut, and you need to UP THAT PART of your game. I DO NOT recommend this – but if that’s what you want – UP the whore part and you’ll be successful anytime you want. The guys you’re trying to hook up with in the club or bar, for the most part, are dumb pigs. More skin…More dirty mouth…More whore.

Next…

hey jack.
Did you or do you really do porn?
Greta (toronto, canada) via jaxasms@icloud.ca

Hi Greta! Thanks for the note.
(Greta is referring to an earlier story – right here called porn.)

Greta… No I have not done porn. COULD do radio-porn maybe – but not anything visual. A NUMBER of reasons I won’t go into here. And Greta – i might REMIND you of the main character here on the good ship jaxasms.ca – sarcasms?

All The Sh!t We Should Just KNOW

· Leave a comment ·

Justabit of a rant…

Most (about 99%) of the world’s laws, bylaws, rules, even like shampoo bottle warnings – are just common sense. I cannot believe I even have to say that, but I DO. If you have a fork in your hand – do you NEED to be told NOT to jab it in your eye? For most people the answer to that is NO sh!t!

I KNOW that you ARE capable of using, and recognizing, common sense. A LOT of you may appear on the surface that grasping that is a way beyond your capabilities – BUT IT IS NOT!

What brought this on is a bunch of questions put to jaxasms.ca about the Covid 19 thing. Mask up. Over your nose, over your chin, DUH? If UNFILTERED air is making it inside your body – cover it up? If the unfiltered air is making it inside your person – YOUR unfiltered air is out there to be inhaled. Again DUH. I am NOT a disease expert – an expert like Dr. Teresa Tam or Dr. Bonnie Henry – or an expert on ANYTHING medical. I am kinda like an expert on common sense. 1+1=2.
Stop and THINK a bit here kids

Do like me do. Compare everything to a campfire or stovetop. ALWAYS. Apply MY (what I call it) CampFire/StoveTop theory to your own self stuff. COMMON SENSE is your body’s/brain’s natural reaction to the CampFire Theory. If you touch the flames – you get burned. THAT is simple stuff AND it hurts! A bit of reinforcement of the ‘You’re an Idiot’ feeling. Common sense, or as I call it ‘notsomuch common sense,’ is the same. It’s what you USED when you DID NOT stick your face into the campfire.

Life is the same kids. THAT is HOW you muster up the common sense that SHOULD be required, and quite frankly, SHOULD be second nature to us stupid humans.

That’s it! You now have the tool necessary to execute on common sense Every. Single. Time. Now just use it! Woo-Hoo! Right?

But you won’t, and I will be saying this same stuff next week. Ok, whatever.

Ummm

· Leave a comment ·

Approx. Read time:
2minutes

🕳 Rabbit Hole

Hey kids! While I was unable to undelete the unpodcasts – I WAS able to get the equipment to work again. Meaning… I will be BACK into the sar-kast-ink. studios this afternoon! A bunch of RE-DO work. Some NEW-DO work. A small bit of DO-IT-BETTER-DO work.

I won’t go into ‘the weeds’ and simply state the obvious, unique, and ya-duh’s. Season One of the sar-kast-ink.s will ACTUALLY begin to appear here!

I hear you yelling “Ya whatever – just DO IT already!!”

Away I go to the studios! As you so eloquently demanded.

ask me. Anything – ask jaxasms

· Leave a comment ·

I put out the call here and over on the twitter for some #askjaxasms questions. An Ask Me Anything sort thing.

ANYWAY…

I got a couple questions so here they are. For the most part I will leave names out unless you ask me to use them. Kinda the ‘reverse’ of how it’s usually done – but this isn’t so much usual is it? Look at me asking YOU questions! OK, I will move along. YOUR questions.

1. I am reading a book about Anne Frank. Wondering why she was hiding when she could have left a long time before? -Anonymous

Well Anonymous. Really? How the hell should I know? I know that I SAID ask me ANYTHING – but this century would be good? Please?

2. Hey jax! After spending his quarantine days on his phone and twitter, my husband has it in his mind that he and I should be having sex anally. Why and should I do it? -Kalley. (She asked me to use her name)

Anyway…Kalley. On your husband’s mind. Ummm yea? It’s probably the only place he has yet to stick his… (Penis for the under 18’s)so yea he thinks about it. I hear it’s fun – so use LOTS of lube and DO IT! Anal is most guys’ Everest. The forbidden conquest. That’s IT. That’s why he wants to. If he were to “talk” about it BEFORE the act – or have you draw a picture of the act or have you explain what happens ‘down there’ that it’s NOT rainbows, lollipops, and fruit juice rain showers. USUALLY you’d head off any further talk (except that empty ‘dirty’ talk) after having THAT HONEST conversation but – again because he has NOT done it before and is NOT in the same galaxy as reality – he’ll ‘plod along.

So Kallie – thanks.

#askjaxasms