your PERFECT life-plan [or just day-plan if you wish]

#askjaxasms, a post maybe?, facXs, Homeless, sar-kast-inks.

by jacK: staffwriter (jaxasms.ca)

IF you follow ALL of these steps.

by jacK – staffwriter

Get up in the morning tomorrow, get dressed appropriately – and go to the job you’d like to have. When you arrive, start working. DO NOT stop working until the police arrive to remove you from the building.

Be removed, without incident, and go to the police station.

After arriving at the station, use your opportunity to use the phone to contact ALL of the media in your town to attend a Press Conference at the station in an hour. Once done that –

START WORKING at the police station. It will take them about an hour to discover what you are up to, and about the time your new job at the police station is ending – newspaper, radio, and TV reporters will have arrived at the station for YOUR Press Conference.

In your press conference – Regale the adventures of your day. How you started the day unemployed, but began work at Company A – only to be found out that you didn’t ACTUALLY work there. The police picked you up there and brought you to the station so that you could start your new Media Liaison job for them.

Unemployed at 7am. A long career at company A in the morning, and then finish the day as Chief Media Liaison for the police,

What a day! A question though…

What are we going to do tonight Brain?

The SAME thing we do EVERY night Pinky… Try to take-over the world.

Bedraggled Bean Goose: ‘So-called experts are SO WRONG!’

a post maybe?, sar-kast-inks.

by jacK – staff writer


A bean goose flying upside down, as captured by Vincent Cornelissen, an amateur photographer. (@b0unce1971:Zenger)
A bean goose photo, captured by Vincent Cornelissen, amateur photographer. (@b0unce1971:Zenger) Friday July 30, 2021

ARNHEM, Netherlands (jaxasms.ca)— Meet Leo. Leo is a Bean goose ( Anser fabalis) as he’s known in the Latin-speaking scientific community.

In this rather ‘odd’ photo, that was taken by an amateur photographer in Arnhem, Netherlands, Leo is flying his upsided and bedraggled way and is not trying to show off any skills of flight. Not screaming ‘look at me.’ “IN FACT,” Leo told me, “I fly this way quite a lot – because I HAVE TO. I have what the experts call ‘spatial orientation phenomenon’ and I was born with it.”

This means Leo knows nothing different.
Spatial Orientation Phenomenon is a condition where Leo’s eyes SEE things as we do, but his brain – for unknown reasons in the Bean Goose family – Leo’s brain flips all the images he sees upside down. Though all Leo’s ever known is this condition , he says “aerodynamically,” the condition makes flying straight and controlled next-door to impossible. Flying upside down, aside from Leo saying that he looks dumb, seems to work best for him.

‘Experts’ told me, when I contacted them for background on this piece that this maneuver, called swhiffling, is when geese roll their body upside down and twist their neck and head 180 degrees around to its normal position – because Bean Goose young – when learning to fly – get ‘bored’ easily and need to switch it up. An aerial sight Leo says is nothing like what the so called Bean Goose experts call showing off.

Leo, who has stayed in touch with the photographer, says he and the photo-taker have gotten hundreds of thousands of social media based messages but a recent message was a surprise for both of them.
That message was from a zoo near Arnhem – and the zoo wished to ‘adopt?’ Leo and use him as an entertainment feature.

Leo says he remembers the photographer taking the pictures, but after that day, he didn’t think much more about it until he was sent the photos weeks later.

The photographer chalked the unique photo up to luck, while Leo sees it more like a painted work of art saying “If Cristina Mittermeier had snapped the photo it would be about her excellent camera skills, but she didn’t. It was ALL ME. I AM the Picasso.”

And with that Leo took to the sky, flying askew. And I haven’t seen, or heard from, him since. When I see Leo again, I will ask him to explain how HE was the Picasso – I’ll tell you about that after i speak to him.

Stupid – Stupid Humans

sar-kast-inks., wizDumbs

This Covid thing has provided me with some good, quality, people watching opportunities. I LOVE watching them – Just NOT a fan of talking to them.

ANYway. One city is quarantined – it’s next door neighbour is not. One country is closed down and the US remains open for business. One airline is shut down – while another is there with extra flights.

Call me a dummy, a pessimist, a glass-half-empty, or even an encourager – BUT

Isn’t that like having a ‘pee-section’ in the neighbourhood swimming pool? Well, except the death part.

Ummm

#askjaxasms, Hey jax!, sar-kast-inks.

Approx. Read time:
2minutes

🕳 Rabbit Hole

Hey kids! While I was unable to undelete the unpodcasts – I WAS able to get the equipment to work again. Meaning… I will be BACK into the sar-kast-ink. studios this afternoon! A bunch of RE-DO work. Some NEW-DO work. A small bit of DO-IT-BETTER-DO work.

I won’t go into ‘the weeds’ and simply state the obvious, unique, and ya-duh’s. Season One of the sar-kast-ink.s will ACTUALLY begin to appear here!

I hear you yelling “Ya whatever – just DO IT already!!”

Away I go to the studios! As you so eloquently demanded.