#askjaxasms

A ‘Timely’ French Exit

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The very beautiful Michelle Pfeiffer – you know her right? Well her NEW movie in 2021 is called “French Exit.” And reading about that movie is what brought on this post with useless or once-useless or notsomuch useless trivia! Anyway…

In case you didn’t know…To leave a party without telling anyone is called, in English, a “French Exit.” In French, it’s called a “partir à l’anglaise”, to leave like the English.

And in OTHER notsomuch useless news…

  • The blob of toothpaste that sits on your toothbrush has a name. A nurdle.
  • Notsomuch useless. Parrots – You know, the talking birds. (Well they have the ability to talk and some do) BUT did you know that the parrot ALSO has the ability to ‘reason’
  • Sticking with animals – not birds – In the original 1902 stage version of The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, Dorothy did not have a dog, but a COW, named Imogene.
  • Sea Otters hold hands while they sleep. Awwww
Cannot confirm if the sea otters are holding hands in this Shutterstock.com image.

  • “sphenopalatine ganglioneuralgia” – That’s the scientific term for what’s commonly known as ‘brain freeze.’
  • Canadians say “sorry” so much that a law was passed in 2009 declaring that an apology can’t be used as evidence of admission to guilt.
  • Nintendo trademarked the phrase “It’s on like Donkey Kong” in 2010.
  • A single strand of Spaghetti is called a “Spaghetto.”
  • At birth – a baby PANDA BEAR – is smaller than a mouse.

And lastly today – One of my favourites – and YOU WILL see why!

  • The official state slogan of the American state Nebraska is: ‘Nebraska: Honestly, it’s not for everyone.’

I seriously NEED to move to the Nebraska.

***Porn

/ jacX / 1 Comment

Now that your attention is focussed here… A WORD I am thinking of BEGINS with the letter ‘P’ and it ENDS with these three letters ‘O’ ‘R’ and ‘N.’

What’s the word I’m thinking of?

You know how to get your answers to me. To make it fair? Here are some terms and conditions:

**Only 1 guess per email, per comment, per tweet, per phone call, per dm, per however else you get a hold of me. It is Thursday (don’t know the date) But get your guesses in by Sunday at midnight pacific – (no advantage if your ‘happen to click’ is first) The wrong answers will be tossed in the trash (duh?) and all of the right answers will be tossed in an internet hat – from which we will draw ONE (1) winner.

The winner gets…? Well the winner gets the life membership to the jaxasms.ca community! Newsletters, books, TED Talks and MORE!!

And in OTHER useless news…

This happens to me fairly often – not sure WHY – but humans I see/meet say to me: “you look familiar?”

My response – ESPECIALLY if there are other humans around is simple.

I say:

“Yea, I get that sometimes. I do porn.”

more interesting than. >sex

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“An intellectual is a person who’s found one thing that’s more interesting than sex”. — Aldous Huxley

It’s like Huxley was trying to tell me…errr. Something?

Now that Aldous has captured your attention for me…I have the RESULTS of a kinda boring poll we took, and perhaps MORE telling, a poll YOU participated in! Boo-Ya!

The poll, in true Charlie Brown fashion, (like my name drop there?) but anyway – Charlie Brown notsomuch fashion – but fashionable folly?

The sports themed question (Like I said already, not REALLY a sports question) – The sports RELATED? question was THIS: You: LUCY – Your partner/friend/husband etc. is Charlie Brown.

ANYway – Metaphorically (yea right!) you are Lucy and your OTHER is Charlie Brown. Would you/How often would you pull the football away, forcing your Charlie Brown to ass-fall and look stupid in an attempt to kick the football ?

80 replies total for this one…ACTUALLY 79 to be honest…#80 was MY reply.

45 said they WOULD pull the ball away
31 said they’d pull the ball away (if able) weekly
and ONE person (*might* have been me) said he’s fallen for the ball-thing every single time.

Thus, in my professional opinion, the top shelf translation is this:

MOST of you who answered the question…admitted to being an asshole (both grrrrl AND boy versions of) – and would pull the ball away. Perhaps more enlightening – 1/3 of you said the practice would happen, at least, weekly!??
And one person said he gets the ball pulled away every time he goes to kick ANY ball. Selfish I know – I CAN’T reveal who said that but it Does. Not. Change the fact that MOST of you are VERY notsomuch nice to your others.

You probably. Should address that.

Thanks for playing! That was kinda fun! (I MIGHT have been a bit bored in quarantine.) ANYway, Next…

All The Sh!t We Should Just KNOW

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Justabit of a rant…

Most (about 99%) of the world’s laws, bylaws, rules, even like shampoo bottle warnings – are just common sense. I cannot believe I even have to say that, but I DO. If you have a fork in your hand – do you NEED to be told NOT to jab it in your eye? For most people the answer to that is NO sh!t!

I KNOW that you ARE capable of using, and recognizing, common sense. A LOT of you may appear on the surface that grasping that is a way beyond your capabilities – BUT IT IS NOT!

What brought this on is a bunch of questions put to jaxasms.ca about the Covid 19 thing. Mask up. Over your nose, over your chin, DUH? If UNFILTERED air is making it inside your body – cover it up? If the unfiltered air is making it inside your person – YOUR unfiltered air is out there to be inhaled. Again DUH. I am NOT a disease expert – an expert like Dr. Teresa Tam or Dr. Bonnie Henry – or an expert on ANYTHING medical. I am kinda like an expert on common sense. 1+1=2.
Stop and THINK a bit here kids

Do like me do. Compare everything to a campfire or stovetop. ALWAYS. Apply MY (what I call it) CampFire/StoveTop theory to your own self stuff. COMMON SENSE is your body’s/brain’s natural reaction to the CampFire Theory. If you touch the flames – you get burned. THAT is simple stuff AND it hurts! A bit of reinforcement of the ‘You’re an Idiot’ feeling. Common sense, or as I call it ‘notsomuch common sense,’ is the same. It’s what you USED when you DID NOT stick your face into the campfire.

Life is the same kids. THAT is HOW you muster up the common sense that SHOULD be required, and quite frankly, SHOULD be second nature to us stupid humans.

That’s it! You now have the tool necessary to execute on common sense Every. Single. Time. Now just use it! Woo-Hoo! Right?

But you won’t, and I will be saying this same stuff next week. Ok, whatever.