Tag: holy crapass!

a welcome [to the cranium]

by jacK – staffwriter

[bc, canada (jaxasms.ca)] a morning in the brain of – jacK. this is but an hour or so in jacK’s brain, and by writing this short story, you’ll NOT want to visit that brain for ANY amount of time!

did you know that everyone who inhales, and relies on, oxygen – normally dies within about 80 years?

How bout some OTHER ‘did you know’s.’

  • 70% of the earth is covered in water and 29% is covered in idiots.
  • Having nutrition information on a bag of Cheetos is a lot like having dating tips on a box of Crocs.
  • America is a country which produces citizens who will cross the ocean to fight for democracy but won’t cross the street to vote.
  • I’m really good at doing stuff until people actually watch me doing stuff.
  • Sometimes, when I close my eyes, I can’t see.
  • The lesson of Halloween is that pretending to be something you’re not – will lead to a sweet candy reward.
  • Accidentally fell asleep smoking my e-cigarette/vape and when I woke up my whole house was on the internet.
  • The light at the end of the tunnel… is an oncoming train.
  • Twitter is basically Facebook’s smoking section.
  • Saying “No, thanks. I’m a vegetarian.” is FUNNY AF when someone hands you their baby.
  • That had I shot you sooner – I’d be out of prison by now.

AND a ‘finally did you know?’ I’ve never understood how the Nazis couldn’t find where Anne Frank was hiding. I was in the area, AND there are signs pointing to her house everywhere!

That Old Apartment…more and less

So this happened the other day.

And tomorrow may end up a lot WORSE if the implication is accurate. Given the fact that British Columbia is on FIRE – and just about EVERYONE is either evacuated, or on an Evacuation Alert, the possibility that my apartment will burn to the ground is VERY real.

Saw the fire alarm (pictured below) right next to the elevator in my apartment building.

I am honestly a bit concerned about getting in that metal box in the wall to glide peacefully to the ground floor. If that picture is ANY indication of the building maintenance – I likely. Will. Die?

Or, just MAYBE, elevator maintenance is a different department, a department that pays attention to stuff, and fixes the equipment?

This is the 🎶duh duh duh😵‍💫🎶 moment.

Yea. I’ll just get on the elevator. There shouldn’t be ANY problems there.