Tag: narf!

Bedraggled Bean Goose: ‘So-called experts are SO WRONG!’

by jacK – staff writer

A bean goose flying upside down, as captured by Vincent Cornelissen, an amateur photographer. (@b0unce1971:Zenger)
A bean goose photo, captured by Vincent Cornelissen, amateur photographer. (@b0unce1971:Zenger) Friday July 30, 2021

ARNHEM, Netherlands (jaxasms.ca)— Meet Leo. Leo is a Bean goose ( Anser fabalis) as he’s known in the Latin-speaking scientific community.

In this rather ‘odd’ photo, that was taken by an amateur photographer in Arnhem, Netherlands, Leo is flying his upsided and bedraggled way and is not trying to show off any skills of flight. Not screaming ‘look at me.’ “IN FACT,” Leo told me, “I fly this way quite a lot – because I HAVE TO. I have what the experts call ‘spatial orientation phenomenon’ and I was born with it.”

This means Leo knows nothing different.
Spatial Orientation Phenomenon is a condition where Leo’s eyes SEE things as we do, but his brain – for unknown reasons in the Bean Goose family – Leo’s brain flips all the images he sees upside down. Though all Leo’s ever known is this condition , he says “aerodynamically,” the condition makes flying straight and controlled next-door to impossible. Flying upside down, aside from Leo saying that he looks dumb, seems to work best for him.

‘Experts’ told me, when I contacted them for background on this piece that this maneuver, called swhiffling, is when geese roll their body upside down and twist their neck and head 180 degrees around to its normal position – because Bean Goose young – when learning to fly – get ‘bored’ easily and need to switch it up. An aerial sight Leo says is nothing like what the so called Bean Goose experts call showing off.

Leo, who has stayed in touch with the photographer, says he and the photo-taker have gotten hundreds of thousands of social media based messages but a recent message was a surprise for both of them.
That message was from a zoo near Arnhem – and the zoo wished to ‘adopt?’ Leo and use him as an entertainment feature.

Leo says he remembers the photographer taking the pictures, but after that day, he didn’t think much more about it until he was sent the photos weeks later.

The photographer chalked the unique photo up to luck, while Leo sees it more like a painted work of art saying “If Cristina Mittermeier had snapped the photo it would be about her excellent camera skills, but she didn’t. It was ALL ME. I AM the Picasso.”

And with that Leo took to the sky, flying askew. And I haven’t seen, or heard from, him since. When I see Leo again, I will ask him to explain how HE was the Picasso – I’ll tell you about that after i speak to him.

Stupid – Stupid Humans

This Covid thing has provided me with some good, quality, people watching opportunities. I LOVE watching them – Just NOT a fan of talking to them.

ANYway. One city is quarantined – it’s next door neighbour is not. One country is closed down and the US remains open for business. One airline is shut down – while another is there with extra flights.

Call me a dummy, a pessimist, a glass-half-empty, or even an encourager – BUT

Isn’t that like having a ‘pee-section’ in the neighbourhood swimming pool? Well, except the death part.

a welcome [to the cranium]

by jacK – staffwriter

[bc, canada (jaxasms.ca)] a morning in the brain of – jacK. this is but an hour or so in jacK’s brain, and by writing this short story, you’ll NOT want to visit that brain for ANY amount of time!

did you know that everyone who inhales, and relies on, oxygen – normally dies within about 80 years?

How bout some OTHER ‘did you know’s.’

  • 70% of the earth is covered in water and 29% is covered in idiots.
  • Having nutrition information on a bag of Cheetos is a lot like having dating tips on a box of Crocs.
  • America is a country which produces citizens who will cross the ocean to fight for democracy but won’t cross the street to vote.
  • I’m really good at doing stuff until people actually watch me doing stuff.
  • Sometimes, when I close my eyes, I can’t see.
  • The lesson of Halloween is that pretending to be something you’re not – will lead to a sweet candy reward.
  • Accidentally fell asleep smoking my e-cigarette/vape and when I woke up my whole house was on the internet.
  • The light at the end of the tunnel… is an oncoming train.
  • Twitter is basically Facebook’s smoking section.
  • Saying “No, thanks. I’m a vegetarian.” is FUNNY AF when someone hands you their baby.
  • That had I shot you sooner – I’d be out of prison by now.

AND a ‘finally did you know?’ I’ve never understood how the Nazis couldn’t find where Anne Frank was hiding. I was in the area, AND there are signs pointing to her house everywhere!