Tag: whacked out up high BatSh!T crazy human thingS

Another conspiracy theory surrounding the Covid pandemic has risen to life like a medical-grade Frankenstein

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OTTAWA – Doctors and the Canadian Government made a sweetheart ‘vaccine deal’ — APPARENTLY to save the lives of millions of conspiracy theory surrounding a secret vaccine oath between Canadian doctors and the government has been confirmed, revealing medical professionals are pushing vaccinations in order to save your life.

According to Yellowit user @I_M_Alberta_born_baby, the conspiracy was unearthed after he held his new Vaccination card up to a bright light and discovered a hidden symbol: the smirking purple devil emoji. ‘😈’

“Canadian doctors were forced by the government to FORCE the public to get the LIFE-SAVING vaccinations or else they’d lose their jobs,” His Yellowit post went on, “Want proof? My friend Wayne’s brother’s girlfriend knows things. She listens to podcasts and reads stuff!”

There was something else about a snake and glad bagged chicken wings – but i nodded off and the screen timed out.

“I feel like we’ve been caught with our hands in the cookie jar,” said Doctor Bernadette Tubbs, who admitted to making the deal in a dark alley behind a hospital after she just finished doing back-to-back 24 hour shifts intubating 40-year-old covid patients.

“Now that Canadians know about our nefarious intentions to try and save people’s lives -“ Tubbs continued “ And save those lives through vaccinations, there is nothing we can do to retain anybody’s trust.”

In speaking with anti-vaxxer Katelyn Kalio, the mom of 6 told me that doctors are evil and should be in jail. “Why would I put foreign stuff in my body? [quick question Mrs Kalio – how did those 6 children get borneded? Whether by sex or by test-tube, SOMETHING foreign was put inside your body. THAT statement of yours, therefore, is patently FALSE.

Kalio finished by stating angrily, “We SHOULD be using the much talked about, on Facebook, drug Ivermectin. It’s at least proven to work deworming cows and horses alike. Good for them – SHOULD be good for you too.”

And with that I had to stop the interview and do what the former American president suggested and drink some bleach, followed by a healthy eye and ear rinse.

And just to add some more learning! Frankenstein was NOT the monster’s name. The dude that made him was Frankenstein, and the monster was named Frankenstein’s Monster. So there’s that.

The Bigfoot. The Chupacabra. The Dinosaurs. The †Raphus Cucullatus†

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and The Humans Coming Soon!!

by jacK: staffwriter (jaxasms.ca)

The dodo bird. I recently stopped by an old friend’s house for a beverage and dinner with him and his family.

First a Caveat — (A caveat is defined as a proviso of specific stipulations, conditions, or limitations. In this case more of an explanation to prevent misinterpretation.)

The caveat: I am NOT the poster-dude for family. Therefore this is NOT a story about family, but a story about humans. I AM one of those. Allegedly. The ‘old friend’ part – I can no longer relate to the guy – His home and other surroundings – and partially his taste in home and personal fashion.

Now there is a bit of a history that has always challenged my brain…so we’ll caveat that too.

Buddy’s name is Dave. notsomuch Lee Roth, Navarro, or Bowie but more a Hasselhoff.

Dave’s surroundings were more like a celebrity reality set than an actual home.

What I am about to do is LIST the stuff in Dave’s life to show a point.

Dave’s adult living/gaming/movie room – shared equally with his 2 pre-teen boys/sons – was like a modern-day museum of art and life. On the far side of the room was one of those classy leather futons finished with a blue sleeping bag for – sleeping? Well worn nonetheless. The TV was one of those big screens with an integrated sound systems.

In front of the massive eye/attention distracting entertaining unit – a Gaming seat. Alexa. TV. Radio/Satellite sources? T-shirt with a sport coat – and a pair of hip-jeans that looked as though they belonged on Shania Twain in an early 2000’s rock video about pick up trucks. Speaking of – he had THREE pickups in the driveway – two of them, he proudly stated, amounted to $1400+ a month in truck payments. Combined with the mortgage and the ‘suspected’ $100+ a day spending money – buddy HAD to be poor. At least house poor.

Both he and his wife have good jobs but still!? The daily/monthly/yearly costs appear on the side of bat-sh!t crazy.

The point I am trying to get at – I KNOW – I hear you muttering GET TO IT! Anyway, the point – While his life seemed great on the surface – I wondered beyond the surface. (That WILL be a startling story to come shortly. And if you didn’t get it – the explanation behind the title of this story and how it all goes together) The point – how could this be anything BUT non-relaxing, and downright miserable.

Looked great – but HAD to suck. Right? On this surface – what do YOU think? Come on – armchair diagnose this will ya?!?!

All The Sh!t We Should Just KNOW

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Justabit of a rant…

Most (about 99%) of the world’s laws, bylaws, rules, even like shampoo bottle warnings – are just common sense. I cannot believe I even have to say that, but I DO. If you have a fork in your hand – do you NEED to be told NOT to jab it in your eye? For most people the answer to that is NO sh!t!

I KNOW that you ARE capable of using, and recognizing, common sense. A LOT of you may appear on the surface that grasping that is a way beyond your capabilities – BUT IT IS NOT!

What brought this on is a bunch of questions put to jaxasms.ca about the Covid 19 thing. Mask up. Over your nose, over your chin, DUH? If UNFILTERED air is making it inside your body – cover it up? If the unfiltered air is making it inside your person – YOUR unfiltered air is out there to be inhaled. Again DUH. I am NOT a disease expert – an expert like Dr. Teresa Tam or Dr. Bonnie Henry – or an expert on ANYTHING medical. I am kinda like an expert on common sense. 1+1=2.
Stop and THINK a bit here kids

Do like me do. Compare everything to a campfire or stovetop. ALWAYS. Apply MY (what I call it) CampFire/StoveTop theory to your own self stuff. COMMON SENSE is your body’s/brain’s natural reaction to the CampFire Theory. If you touch the flames – you get burned. THAT is simple stuff AND it hurts! A bit of reinforcement of the ‘You’re an Idiot’ feeling. Common sense, or as I call it ‘notsomuch common sense,’ is the same. It’s what you USED when you DID NOT stick your face into the campfire.

Life is the same kids. THAT is HOW you muster up the common sense that SHOULD be required, and quite frankly, SHOULD be second nature to us stupid humans.

That’s it! You now have the tool necessary to execute on common sense Every. Single. Time. Now just use it! Woo-Hoo! Right?

But you won’t, and I will be saying this same stuff next week. Ok, whatever.

Sometimes It’s Silence %^#@?*&!!

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Approx. read time
4:30

(((This one. A scoop! I’m the ONLY one! Ok you too now))

Another look at your relationship – whichever kind – ONLY catch: It’s for exclusive and good friendship relationships and maybe will bleed into familial ties too.
It is not like me to recommend SILENCE for much…BUT when I do… I just do.

Ever suspect your partner of lying? Evasiveness? Cheating? For THAT matter…Do you want a promotion and don’t know how to ask? Or think you deserve a better letter grade for a school/college/university project?
Your KEY to ALL of the above?
Yep. SILENCE.

And HERE is why.
It may be a fatal human flaw…Or maybe just a fatal COMMUNICATION flaw. Human beings. Nearly ALL human beings (except YOU if you follow my lead here! And NO I am NOT teaching anyone HOW to lie more effectively. The opposite actually) So pay attention gals and guys. (Rabbits and Squirrels) Squirrels just TRY to keep up – and read it again if need be.
Most humans CANNOT sit in silence. Silence is SO awkward for the human brain that it just can’t let it happen. Even if it’s only gibberish, a human will speak, laugh, any other utterance or noise just to avoid it. FACT.

SO, knowing that, DO THIS when you want to find out anything. Pay attention kids! (This is the part of our story where I EXPLAIN the point to you.)

The problem you face: You think your partner (Rabbit OR Squirrel) cheated on you last Saturday night. Whether on good authority or you’re just jealous – HERE is how you get the truth Every. Single. Time. You’re going to ask ONE question. Formulate the ONE question in advance so you don’t screw it up! You want it to be both vague AND specific, with defined parts. Without any further explanations….the Question:
Something like this: “When you were out with friends on Saturday, after all your drunken friends and you left the bar…Why did you head over to that guy’s/girl’s place, have sex, and spend the night all tangled up in one another?” The shorter the question the better – as to not allow for argument on details, accusations etc. When you reach the end of your question, SHUT UP! Do not say another word until you’ve gotten an answer.

Silence is your only friend right now. Remember back up there a ways? Humans HAVE to fill silence. HAVE TO. So leave it SILENT! Now the other side will ask questions – DON’T answer any of them. They will try to change the subject, voice objections, make accusations, and even accuse you of the same thing. (Pay attention to details as you silently sit unresponsive. Their accusations and details of those accusations will tell you the story of Saturday night. Just note them – don’t outwardly acknowledge them.

Still silent they must talk. Whether in circles or squares – they will attempt to MAKE you talk. Nope. It will eventually lead to the word BUT. Now you really pay attention cause the TRUTH is on it’s way. You might not BELIEVE or LIKE the things said but stay SHUT UP.

And THAT’S IT. There. Is the truth – Turns out – It WAS out there. Use your new power carefully! If you get the concept – its applications are nearly limitless.

Spinnin’ the Plates – First Part

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Usually. This is the introduction part. HOWEVER for this *series* of posts…notsomuch.
Except to state a topic, and suggest a hole – said topic should be buried in.

I know you WILL cringe throughout, but stick with it. The cringes will be fairly short-lived and hopefully we can work together for a common goal – that goal being to PERMANENTLY (wishful thinking) bury the sh!t DEEP in… history.

30,000 foot view: At that level…you don’t see sh!t – just clouds
Game Changer: Pick a game. Pick a game changer. Nothing changed did it? Next…
Agree to Disagree: WHAT? We’re disagreeing right now. GaaK.
Best thing since sliced bread: Sliced bread is great? A bad knock-knock joke is great…
The devil is in the details: Yea. NO! Remember grade school? Math? You were told to ‘show your work.’ Does that mean your math teacher is promoting the summoning the devil down from – err UP from hell?
Beat a Dead Horse: ummm WHY?
You don’t know what you don’t know: GaaaaK! and FVCK!!!!!!!

Finish with a couple similar ones…On the way to Part Too. Yes kids. There’s more to come! Whatever right?

Sh!t the bed, Drink from the Firehose: GaaaaK!

Humans are stupid. Just stupid.